Stars were falling deep in the darkness

[Video post, all replies video]

2009-11-07T05:07:13Z

[Issei is scowling at the camera. Any fearsome effect this might have had is nullified by the fact that a) he's blushing and b) he's wearing a schoolgirl outfit. Including a skirt. (No, I don't have a better reference picture.)]

Nakamori. Could you please come get your clothes? They're much more suited for you than for me, and I... don't seem to be able to remove them myself. [Any minute, he might start flailing, but right now his tone is just one of exasperation.] I expect the community has something to do with this, unless someone enjoys changing people's clothes while they sleep.

[OOC - grab bag virus planning post/possessed Issei plotting.]

2009-11-05T12:25:26Z

Well, we all knew I was going to do this sometime.

I'll copy what I said on my mod approval comment, just to save time.

"For the 'virus you thought you missed' virus, I was thinking of doing the 'what if' virus, and for that I was planning on setting up the situation to reuse a canon event: namely, Issei getting possessed by Caster.

Basically, what happens in canon is that whenever someone asks Issei too many questions about Caster, she takes over his body and tries to kill both the person asking and Issei. This doesn't happen now because Caster is dead and that spell's no longer in effect, but the 'what if' would be if Caster had survived. Someone on the community asks too many questions, and Issei gets possessed.

Possessed!Issei's modus operandi is to kill whoever asked the questions, then himself. This doesn't work so well over the internet, and I expect him to make an attempt at killing... uh, basically anyone he's told about Caster, which is almost everyone he knows, and then dispose of himself. He'll be neutralized before he does permanent harm to anyone, and probably be in the hospital until the virus is over.

...For reference: here is the video of where possessed!Issei appears in the game, and these few untranslated pages here are his appearance in the manga. (...I intend to have him stabbing people, as per the game, rather than flailing at people, as per the manga, because it looks less ridiculous, but how easy he is to knock out if you're super-strong is from the manga.)"

So, where you guys come in. I'd like volunteers for all of the following:

1. Someone to ask too many questions and trigger possessed!Issei. He'll probably want to come after you first, although I don't anticipate that someone as Obviously Evil as Caster-in-Issei's-body will be able to get a worldhop, so that may not happen.
2. Some other people for him to attack. As said above, this will probably require you to come to his world, although I'm sure some people will to save Issei from this horrible evil person that's talking about disposing of him once they're finished. Possessed!Issei is very fast, and either strong or accurate enough to kill someone with a knife to the stomach who's survived beatings on from a massive axe-sword.
3. Someone to finally neutralize him. Anyone here is probably capable of providing the superpowered bitchslap seen in the manga, as long as they don't mind getting stabbed first.

Thanks for your help, you guys! I've been looking forward to doing this forever. ...Which probably makes me a bad mun.

(~~Most of my responses will be after I get back from school, I just wanted to get this up.~~ Back.)

[E-mail accidentally posted to his journal.]

2009-11-04T12:39:09Z

To: kaitoukidforever@mail.yahoo.co.jp
From: ryudoji@mail.yahoo.co.jp
Subject: Photographs

Dear Kaitou Kid Fanclub:

I should have expected this, what with the way misinformation travels around here, but I was hoping you still had some sense.

First of all, those pictures you have in your possession. Notice the hair color? Notice how it isn't Kid's hair color? It's a costume party. Unless Kid would be one to have such a shoddy costume as merely a different hair color, you have to accept that it's someone else dressed up as him. I should know, because it's me.

This means that you do not have pictures of Kid fraternizing with Hakuba and Shirogane fraternizing. You have pictures of a fan in costume fraternizing with the detectives. Therefore, stop claiming to have proof of - of relations between them. Kid wasn't even there! And I don't have relations with them either, and I was the one actually in those photographs!

In conclusion, the next person who says Kid did anything remotely resembling romantic at that party is wrong on so many levels, and I will find them and hunt them down. It's the least I can do for contributing to this mess.

-Ryudo Issei

((Of course the Gossip Girl story and the photos get back to the fanclub. Of course.))

ewwgirls @ 2009-10-22T07:14:00

2009-10-22T11:15:21Z

Shirou called.

I hate viruses.

[Voice post - worst fear virus.]

2009-10-21T11:32:02Z

Really, Shirou, if you're home for the week, you should at least answer the door. [Issei sounds about as calm as normal, if a tad annoyed.] I told you I was coming over, so you have no excuse. Ah, well, it's for reasons like this that I have a key.

[The sound of footseps.] Not in the living room... He's probably in the shed and couldn't hear me, I suppose. [More of Issei's footsteps.]

It's locked. Shirou, are you in there? [A moment's pause.] No answer. Maybe he's out w-

Isn't that blood?

[There's a few loud blunt sounds, like someone throwing themselves bodily at a door, then a loud crash.]

Shirou?! Please be okay, please be okay, this isn't allowed to happen, that sort of thing can't happen if I'm here, you have to be okay, please- Why, why aren't you breathing, you can't not be breathing, I have to protect you, I won't forgive you if you don't start breathing this instant! Are you listening?! I'm telling you to start recovering! Please, please, please-

How could I let such a thing... I wasn't here fast enough. I won't forgive myself for not able to protect you.

((Issei's worst fear is being unable to protect a friend. And before anyone asks, the dead body is a virus-induced illusion - I won't really kill off Shirou as an NPC.))

[Voice post]

2009-10-13T11:23:56Z

Would someone please interrogate me so that we may find out if this time I have my actual memories? Please? [Issei sighs.] This is getting tiresome.

N-not that I'm saying being married to him was bad! I mean, of all the people I could be married to of course I'd most like to marry him. But, but I don't mean that I intend to get married right away either! B-but eventually, probably-

I'm going to stop talking now.

[Virus, and fail lock to Haruto.]

2009-10-09T11:24:26Z

Um, Haruto? Would you mind terribly if I stopped telling people that we were married? It's a bit difficult to explain why it's not on our records or how it was at all legal, since I can't tell random strangers about other worlds, but I didn't want to offend you by not mentioning it when they asked.

Anyway, I'll see you when you wake up unless I'm making breakfast at the time. In that case, I suppose you'll read this first.

EDIT: Well, this appears to be public, and there's no use removing it now. So I'll just take this opportunity to apologize for forgetting all of you. It wasn't intentional, I wasn't joking around, and if I hurt you inadvertently through any callousness, please forgive me.

((...Issei needs to stop getting fake memories, seriously.))

[RL - Haruto visiting.]

2009-10-02T01:50:01Z

So apparently, Issei had a boyfriend. And a bunch of other friends besides that.

Which was bizarre and Issei wasn't entirely sure that he believed it just yet. He didn't recall any recent head trauma, and he certainly hadn't been magically tampered with, since that sort of thing was impossible. On the other hand, all of those people were unlikely to lie to him about such things. What would be the point?

As Issei paced around near the bottom of the steps to the temple, he thought about how the person claiming to be his boyfriend was coming over, and how that was seeming like an extremely bad idea. He barely knew what to do with a friend! A boyfriend? It wasn't possible that he'd make it through this meeting alive.

But he did want to see this letter he'd written, since any material evidence would be helpful for his state of mind. And Haruto seemed... nice?

No, he really wasn't making it through alive. It would probably be best to start praying before his inevitable death through embarrassment.

[OOC | CR meme]

2009-09-19T00:36:17Z

☸ - Issei loves you utterly and completely, no question about it.
☸ - He has a crush on you, or a kind-of-crush, or at least thinks you're attractive.
☸ - You are his BFF. Seriously, F.
☸ - You're friends with him, although you could be a bit closer.
☸ - Acquaintances who've had a couple to several conversations with him. He wants to know you more.
☸ - Acquaintances who've only had one conversation with him. He may think positively on you, or have no real opinion.
☸ - He dislikes you, or is scared of you. Or both.
☸ - Either he really, truly hates you, or you're Tohsaka.

Sorted alphabetically within each level. In progress: all/more explanations to be added. Last update on 11/07/09.

Haruto Houjou: ☸
Issei loooooves Haruto. As evidenced by him dating him. He finds him to be the cutest person in the universe, and one of the most sane and reasonable people on here. He wants to protect Haruto from everything that's scary or flail-inducing - unfortunately, the latter category includes himself sometimes, but he tries his best. Even during their temporary post-0T3-virus 'spat', Issei would instantly rise up to defend Haruto from anyone who insulted him. That Haruto forgave him for that whole incident is just more proof that he's the sweetest person ever and that Issei doesn't deserve him.

Kaitou Kid: ☸
If you ask, Issei will say what are you talking about, Kid's in the yellow, he doesn't have a crush on him, that embarrassing dream only happened twice! ...Issei's not much of a liar. Anyway, he's a fan~~girl~~boy for Kid. His heists are amazing, and he's so talented~ He collects newspaper clippings about him now. But more than him being a celebrity, Issei considers Kid a good friend. Someone who's shown concern for him when he needed it and is capable of actually cheering him up after things like getting shot and going through a maze of nightmares. Someone who has reasons for what he does beyond the fame. ...All that being said, Issei has a bit of a thing for suits, and is now rapidly developing a thing for monocles and top hats. S-shut up, he looks really good in them.

Saguru Hakuba: ☸ ☸
Hakuba is probably Issei's closest friend on here, since he was one of the ones who commented to his intro, and they've been friends ever since. He gets along incredibly well with Hakuba; he's intelligent, loyal to his friends, mature, sane, and about a billion other traits that Issei likes. Unfortunately, he also has a tendency to blame himself for things and not ask for help, which coupled with his ability to get himself hurt or kidnapped, means Issei worries over Hakuba even more than he does most of his other friends. Still, Issei would trust Hakuba with anything, since he knows that even if it's something he can't share with anyone else, Hakuba will understand and comfort him as much as he could. As for the orange part... well, Issei considers Hakuba attractive, but normally he's not interested in Hakuba (not in the least because Akako would kill him). But he still remembers what happened during the OT3 viruses, and he can remember very clearly what it was like to be in love with him. If he had to lose his virginity to anyone he wasn't normally interested in, his first choice would be Hakuba. ...Now let's hope that doesn't make anything awkward for them later.

Ban Midou: ☸
Ban was one of the people who replied to Issei's first post, and he's been growing on him ever since. At this point, Issei's incredibly loyal to him and would trust him in any circumstances. Well, he wouldn't trust him to keep himself out of trouble, since that seems to be impossible. Ban worries Issei every time he gets injured. He knows that Ban's strong, but he probably wouldn't be able to handle it if Ban were to ever be killed (and with the way he's going, one of these days he will be). Issei offers what support and reassurance he can to make sure that Ban's happy. Even though an upset Ban is unlikely to make him flail, it's worth the trade-off.

Kaito Kuroba: ☸
Secret identity? What secret identity? Well, at one or two points way in the past Issei's thought that it would make sense if Kaito were Kid, but this is the community. When do things ever make sense here? Anyway, Kaito's a good friend, also capable of making him chuckle in any circumstance. Unfortunately, it seems as though a lot of the laughs are at Issei's expense... by this point, Issei's used to that. And the skirt-flipping, although really, don't do that in front of him. Besides all that, Kaito's a good guy and a loyal friend, and it worries Issei immensely when he gets injured or goes to Australia. He hates when people talk about/show fish in front of Kaito. They know he's phobic! Why are they so cruel to him?!

Karen Minazuki: ☸
Issei's known Karen since way back in his intro, and originally they bonded over being student council presidents of their schools, and not being as crazy as the rest of the people there. He appreciates having a mature, intelligent, and completely normal friend. (He should know better.) Karen's often stuck up for him (when Akako kidnapped him, thinking the best of him during the labors) and he'd happily return the favor if the chance arrived. As it is, the most he can do is sigh when her crazy classmates make life difficult and hope for the best for her. She was really the first girl to make him go 'well, certain women aren't so bad', which is something of an accomplishment.

Naoto Shirogane: ☸ ☸
Compared to his other BFFs, Issei has met Naoto really recently. But they bonded extremely quickly, and although Issei may not know him as well as some of the others, he feels closer to him. Naoto is intelligent, well-mannered, humble (mostly), and an all-around good person - all traits that Issei likes and admires. He has enormous amounts of respect for Naoto and his occupation, who in turn seems to respect him and his faith. Like with most of his friends, Issei also feels protective of him. He attempted to keep Naoto from getting into anything he would regret during the what if virus, and tries to keep his spirits up when they're low. Issei can relate to Naoto on a lot of issues, most notably being turned into an animal by Akako, but also on things like gaining respect from one's peers and losing family members. They're likely to grow even closer in the future.

Aoko Nakamori: ☸
Firstly, anyone who can keep control of Kaito gets bonus points for being awesome and a valuable member of society. Secondly, Aoko's been pretty much determined to be his friend since day one, so all he can do is relent. He's a little bewildered by her energeticness, but she's certainly a nice person, just... very interesting, to say the least. He has no intention of calling her Aoko like she asked, though, that's far too forward. So far she hasn't noticed the switch back.

Bertie Wooster: ☸
[insert explanation]

Death: ☸
[insert explanation]

Ggio Vega: ☸
[insert explanation]

Kanji Tatsumi: ☸
Kanji is rough around the edges, there's no denying it. But there's also no denying that he's a good person. Issei was confident about it from their first conversation, and hearing what he did for Naoto just made it more certain. Issei appreciates Kanji's willingness to help his friends and his mother, and is willing to accept that his brashness sometimes is a result of that. Kanji worries him a little, though, since he keeps getting into fights... Being kidnapped certainly didn't help any. Issei's opinion on Kanji's Shadow is a bewildered "wait, what? What? Don't say such things!" From what happened with Yosuke and Yukiko, he's pretty sure Kanji wouldn't normally be flirting with him, but still... (Geeze, is there any Shadow that hasn't hit on him? Yosuke's, fine, but it called him girly, that's close enough.) He's extremely relieved that Kanji is safe and back to normal.

Kasumi Tendou: ☸
[insert explanation]

Maraich: ☸
[insert explanation]

Mello: ☸
Issei met Mello at the beginning of his labors, when he offered to help Issei for little compensation, and apparently believed without any evidence that Issei had a good reason for all of his criminal activities. Issei is incredibly grateful to him for his support. He doesn't know much about Mello as a person, but he'd like to become closer friends with the man who helped him achieve what he really needed to achieve back then. ...Also, it's nice to have a friend who doesn't look at him funny when he mentions that his family friends are yakuza members.

Rider: ☸ ☸
Rider is really complicated. See, Issei doesn't get along with Rider at all. He can't stand talking to her and her mockery of him. Plus she's scary and could have killed him earlier. But at the same time, he's aware that she does have a better side, mostly reserved for Ban and other people who aren't Issei, and if you asked if he thought she was a good person at heart, he'd say yes. His part in their relationship resembles his relationship with Rin (although he's much more likely to admit to Rider being okay than Rin): he'll insult her, and he'll mean it, but if she were ever to come to harm he would be one of the first to leap to her defense. Rider, on the other hand, may have a rather different view of things.

Rise Kujikawa: ☸
Her always-bubbly personality as Risette hurts his ears, and her emoticons sometimes make her tilt his head in confusion. But Rise herself can be kind of nice. She has a lot of depth and maturity, which isn't immediately apparent, and anyone who genuinely likes other people gets a good mark in his book. He wishes she wouldn't lie to her employers about her state of health... and speaking of the beach trip, wishes she wouldn't hug him out of nowhere. Who does that?! Admittedly, it's because she was trying to help, so Issei can forgive her. Sort of. Her Shadow scared the bejeebies out of him.

Ritsu Kasanoda: ☸
[insert explanation]

Seiichiro Tatsumi: ☸
Tatsumi and Issei met during the maid virus, wherein Issei learned two things about Tatsumi: one, that he really liked money, and two, that he got upset when one of his employees (in this case, him) was drugged. These impressions were reinforced later, when Tatsumi volunteered to help him with one of his labors... in exchange for a not insignificant amount of payment. But basically, Tatsumi is one of the few people who might have an even larger protective streak than Issei. Issei's fairly sure that he could trust Tatsumi to help him in any time of need. He's also kind of a sentimental/dork about his girlfriend, which is always nice, especially considering that it's Kasumi. Issei would really like to know Tatsumi better, since he doesn't really know much about his life besides 'shinigami' and 'dating Kasumi now'.

Simon: ☸
Issei got to know Simon through his questions about leadership and maturity and adulthood, which is an immediate plus - if you're concerned about whether you're really mature enough, you're probably pretty mature and are taking the job seriously. Simon actually reminds him a lot of himself: spazzes easily, position/future position of leadership, friends that get in way more trouble than he'd like... blue hair... He now worries over Simon's safety, which is the ultimate sign of frienditude from Issei.

Tohru Adachi: ☸
[insert explanation]

Umi Ryuuzaki: ☸
[insert explanation]

Yoko Littner: ☸
Before she gets up to yellow, she's going to need to put on a decent shirt, okay. But Yoko seems pretty sensible, from what Issei's heard from her. A little short-tempered, but frankly that was justified in the case of Azula, and a little pushy (as soon as she forgets, he's going to switch back to calling her Littner. It worked with Aoko!). But she's a nice person, and she takes care of Simon, who seems to need it. Plus, she can throw chalk to make students be quiet. That's awesome.

Yukari Takeba: ☸
[insert explanation]

Yukiko Amagi: ☸
[insert explanation]

Antonio Carriedo (Spain): ☸
[insert explanation]

Chibiusa: ☸
[insert explanation]

Chrome Dokuro: ☸
[insert explanation]

Cure Aqua: ☸
Cure Aqua got bumped up to blue very quickly because their first conversation was in the context of her protecting Karen from brainwashed-and-crazy!Zelda. Issei happens to be good friends with Karen. Therefore, protecting Karen earned his immediate gratitude for life. He'd been aware of her existence for a long while before that, and is happy to have another defender of justice and the innocent, etc., on the community. He'd like to know her more! Unfortunately, things might get a little awkward on her part if that were to happen, but he doesn't know that.

Fuu Hououji: ☸
Fuu is one of those people that amaze him with their niceness. They've spoken all of twice, maybe once more at that party, but Issei keeps hearing about her. Mostly in a good way, and occasionally in a 'geeze you're helping people too much and neglecting yourself' way, which is a) very nostalgic and b) probably the best way to hear something bad about someone. Issei would not be at all opposed to getting to know her more.

Heiji Hattori: ☸
[insert explanation]

Itsuki Koizumi: ☸
Itsuki makes fascinating puzzle/games posts, and Issei makes it a point to reply to them whenever he sees them come up on his friends list. He doesn't really know much about Itsuki beyond that, but he seems intelligent and good-humored, two excellent qualities. Will probably be attempting to get to know him more in the future, since he can't have too many sane acquaintances.

Katherine "Kitty" Pryde: ☸
[insert explanation]

Keiichi Maebara: ☸
[insert explanation]

Kirigakure Saizo: ☸ ☸
[insert explanation]

Kuroudo Akabane: ☸ ☸
On one hand, Ban really, really hates Akabane. Rider also hates Akabane. They seem to hate him for a good reason (he's crazy, kills people, and has tried to kill them). Usually, when someone is hated by two of his friends, Issei also hates them. And at the very least, he's scared of Akabane, that was never in doubt. But in the actual conversations Issei's had with him, he's seemed... relatively okay, considering that he's a crazy guy who kills people. And Rena really likes him, and she seems nice enough. So Issei's opinion on Akabane is somewhere approaching neutral. He doesn't want him to hurt Ban again, but he's no more likely to wish harm to him than he would to any random community member.

Larsa Solidor: ☸
[insert explanation]

Leila: ☸
[insert explanation]

Mion Sonozaki: ☸
The club leader who abuses her power. Punishing the losers is one thing, but a catgirl outfit? That's low, especially if it's a man who loses. (And Issei gets the impression that there's someone on a losing streak.) She doesn't seem to care about the humiliation... or revels in it, Issei couldn't say. She also thinks he's too uptight, which Issei denies. Everyone else isn't uptight enough. Needless to say, she grates on his nerves. Still, he doesn't feel irritated enough by her to really make fun of her when she's hit by a virus. She's probably a good person. Maybe.

Nancy Tremaine: ☸
[insert explanation]

Nia: ☸
[insert explanation]

Nill: ☸
[insert explanation]

Rena Ryuugu: ☸
To him, Rena seems like a nice girl. She's a little eccentric, and she really likes that crazy doctor guy, which is probably a bad thing. Still, at heart she's just a nice girl, and Issei is unlikely to wish her ill. Well, maybe if she'd acted upon wanting to take his rabbitself home, he would have, but that's about it. (He still doesn't really understand what that was about. He was at home, wasn't he?)

Retatsu Midorikawa: ☸
[insert explanation]

Richard "Ringo" Langly: ☸
[insert explanation]

Rikku: ☸
[insert explanation]

Ryotaro Dojima: ☸
[insert explanation]

Shia: ☸
[insert explanation]

Sonoko Suzuki: ☸
Issei is pleased to know a fellow sane Kid fan~~girl~~person. Her updates on the stupid things that Kid's other fangirls think make him doubt whether there is truly good in the universe, but at least she herself seems reasonable, and doesn't think that Kid is the son of two detectives or sprang into existence from sea foam or anything like that.

Suguru Kinniku: ☸
Suguru is... weird. There's no denying that he means well, of course. But he's really goofy and kind of strange-looking. Issei is grateful that he tried to help find Yukiko, even if he really didn't do anything... Uh, basically Issei considers him to be really weird, and being a nice guy doesn't entirely make up for the weirdness. And his culture has strange practices...

Tommy Gavin: ☸
[insert explanation]

V: ☸
[insert explanation]

Wang Yao (China): ☸
[insert explanation]

Zelgadiss: ☸
[insert explanation]

Abel Nightroad: ☸
[insert explanation]

Akihiko Sanada: ☸
[insert explanation]

Alfred Jones (America): ☸
[insert explanation]

Asakura Ryoko: ☸
[insert explanation]

Barney Stinson: ☸
[insert explanation]

Byakuya Kuchiki: ☸
[insert explanation]

Chris Vinyard: ☸
[insert explanation]

Claire Bennet: ☸
[insert explanation]

Colette Brunel: ☸
[insert explanation]

Firo Prochainezo: ☸
[insert explanation]

Francis Bonnefoy (France): ☸
[insert explanation]

Ginzo Nakamori: ☸
[insert explanation]

Giselle: ☸ ☸
Oh, sure, she seems like the incarnation of all that is nice. And maybe she really is. But Issei saw those animals swarming around her at the beach trip. That never naturally occurs! She's a freak of nature, a sign of the apocalypse, or at the very least incredibly scary. Eventually Issei may figure out that it's a sign of Disney Heroineness, rather than of Abominationness, but that's unlikely to happen any time soon. And until then, she could probably send her animal armies after him if she wanted to. Eep.

HAL-9000: ☸
[insert explanation]

Doctor Hannibal Lecter: ☸
[insert explanation]

Hibari Kyoya: ☸
[insert explanation]

Hikaru Shidou: ☸
[insert explanation]

Himiko Kudo: ☸
[insert explanation]

Ianto Jones: ☸
[insert explanation]

Ichigo Kurosaki: ☸
[insert explanation]

Inuyasha: ☸
[insert explanation]

Jean Grey: ☸
[insert explanation]

Juliet O'Hara: ☸
[insert explanation]

Junpei Iori: ☸
[insert explanation]

Keiji Saga: ☸
[insert explanation]

Kiku Honda (Japan): ☸
[insert explanation]

Kino: ☸
[insert explanation]

Kotomi Ichinose: ☸
[insert explanation]

Kurt Hummel: ☸
[insert explanation]

Lockon Stratos: ☸
[insert explanation]

Lussuria: ☸
[insert explanation]

Maggie Madsen: ☸
[insert explanation]

Mao: ☸
[insert explanation]

Marth: ☸
[insert explanation]

Mewtwo: ☸
[insert explanation]

Mikuru Asahina: ☸
[insert explanation]

Minato Arisato: ☸
[insert explanation]

Misato Katsugari: ☸
[insert explanation]

Mukuro Rokudo: ☸
[insert explanation]

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: ☸
[insert explanation]

Regene Regetta: ☸
[insert explanation]

Reverie Planetarian: ☸
[insert explanation]

Rika Furude: ☸
[insert explanation]

Rock Howard: ☸
[insert explanation]

Rogue: ☸
[insert explanation]

Rose: ☸
[insert explanation]

Rufus Shinra: ☸ ☸
[insert explanation]

Saber: ☸
[insert explanation]

Sakuyamon: ☸
[insert explanation]

Sam Puckett: ☸ ☸
[insert explanation]

Sari Sumdac: ☸
[insert explanation]

Setsuna F. Seiei: ☸
[insert explanation]

Shion Sonozaki: ☸
Definitely the nicer of the two sisters. Which isn't saying much. They've had a conversation about bodyguards, and cut into one about Issei being uptight (which he isn't! Okay, fine.) that her twin was having. She seems pretty normal; has a bodyguard, but makes him buy groceries, which sort of offsets any strangeness about that. Issei's a little unhappy that she told him to lighten up, but it's not the first time that's happened, and otherwise she seemed fairly respectful toward him.

Shuichi Minamino/Kurama: ☸
Issei's only conversation with Kurama came after the pranking 'virus' when his school uniform was dyed pink. Issei mentioned wanting to foist it off on someone, and Kurama mentioned interest in what sort of pink it was. So all Issei knows is that Kurama wears pink, but not hot pink. Which, admittedly, means he has pretty good taste.

Shuyin: ☸
[insert explanation]

Stan Marsh: ☸
[insert explanation]

Suze Simon: ☸
[insert explanation]

Tachibana Shito: ☸
[insert explanation]

Tieria Erde: ☸
[insert explanation]

Tyki Mikk: ☸
[insert explanation]

Xanxus: ☸
[insert explanation]

Xigbar: ☸
[insert explanation]

Yuan: ☸
[insert explanation]

Yuna: ☸
[insert explanation]

Zack Fair: ☸
[insert explanation]

Zelda: ☸
[insert explanation]

Ai Haibara: ☸
During the labors, Haibara shot at him for breaking into her lab. It didn't hit anything vital (although if you ask, Issei'll show you that it scarred), but it was still the first time Issei'd been shot or had anything life-threatening done to him. That, plus the fact that she's a girl, means she scares the crap out of Issei. She still does, too - she never commented to his explanation post, so for all he knows she still holds a grudge against him for his break-in. And that would be bad, because he's pretty much defenceless against an eight-year-old girl.

Ares: ☸
[insert explanation]

Azula: ☸
Issei has heard much more about Azula than he's actually spoken to her, although they have talked a few times about unimportant things. If it were just the conversations they've had, he'd probably have no opinion on her; she's just as serious as he is, and there's not much to interest him into speaking with her. As it happens, however, he knows that a whole bunch of his friends dislike her a lot. And she set a whole bunch of them on fire. (Admittedly, this was while she was crazier than usual, but still. Crazier.) That's enough to make him want nothing to do with her.

Doctor Bridgette Tenenbaum: ☸
[insert explanation]

Chuck Bass: ☸
[insert explanation]

The Second Corinthian: ☸
[insert explanation]

Cross Marian: ☸
[insert explanation]

The Emoticon: ☸
[insert explanation]

Eris: ☸
Eris hurts people and causes them pain, and relishes doing so. She also makes fun of him. How could he not dislike her? It's probably more important to say why she's not in the black. Number one, if she hadn't been around, Issei probably wouldn't have been able to save Archer. She's a colossal jerk, but she has her uses. And number two, Eris doesn't kill people here or even permanently injure them, even though it's probably within her power. Issei saves his pure, driving hatred for murderers. Godly trolls? Get disliked a whole lot, but as far as he's concerned, if he leaves her alone she won't do anything permanently damaging to him.

Loki: ☸
[insert explanation]

Michael Trinity: ☸
He's an ass. From what Issei knows of him, he reminds him of Matou Shinji, except more crass and actually liking his sister. Being compared to Matou is by no means a compliment. Issei wants nothing to do with him, and assumes that further conversations would only get himself made fun of.

Ozai: ☸
[insert explanation]

Rukia Kuchiki: ☸
[insert explanation]

Yuffie Kirasagi: ☸
It's kind of hypocritical for Issei to dislike someone just because they steal people's stuff, but at least he had a good reason for it. Yuffie just did it to show off! And she took Kaito's chocobo. Besides that, her personality grates on him immensely. And she complained about people complaining about people talking about sex in public. Basically, everything about Yuffie drives Issei nuts and he wants nothing to do with her.

William Birkin: ☸
First of all, from what he's read he's an evil bastard trying to infect the world with some kind of plague and kill or mutate everybody. And he tries to stick things in his daughter. But more importantly, he was a jerk to his kind-of-girlfriend. Issei liked his kind-of-girlfriend. (Not like that.) This makes him utterly despicable in Issei's eyes.

As usual, if you comment, I'll try to get your character's explanation up as soon as possible.

OOC - meme stolen from everyone ever.

2009-09-03T00:02:37Z

Comment with a 5 + 1 list and I'll write a drabble about it! Include the name of the characters, the ship (if applicable), and a general rating to go along with it.

Example: 5 times so-and-so called Issei cute, and one time he called them cute.

Characters: ...uh, just Issei/ewwgirls.

[And forward-dated to tomorrow morning, post-virus, all responses video.]

2009-09-01T02:52:45Z

[The video clicks on to show a rabbit apparently sitting at Issei's desk, ears drooped. Most rabbits aren't that shade of blue, however, and certainly none in Issei's world are. It lets out a soft little whimper.]

I can't even apologize to Haruto like this...

[Oh, hey, subtitles. That's helpful, especially considering that rabbits don't say much. Wasn't there someone else turned into an animal lately who received subtitles? Wonder if the causes could be related.]

[Fail!locked to Hakuba and Akako, also forward-dated to tomorrow morning.]

2009-08-30T01:51:34Z

Hakuba, Koizumi. I was thinking that it's been a while since we've been able to go out together, just the three of us. What do you say about a date this afternoon?

((This post is basically an excuse to let people go 'WTF' at Issei being affected by the OT3 virus.))

ewwgirls @ 2009-08-23T14:11:00

2009-08-23T18:11:43Z

...

Could I have my normal clothes back now, please? This isn't funny.

((In all icons, Issei appears to be wearing this. Background roses not included.))

[OOC - FAQ.]

2009-08-20T13:03:11Z

This isn't really a 20 facts thing - I hope I don't have twenty questions that need explaining - more like a FAQ for stuff that comes up often.

First of all, why is he calling my character by their last name? Nobody does that!
Issei does. Canonically, he's shown to still call his best friend of almost two years by his last name. Emiya Shirou calls him by his first name in return, so they're obviously close enough that Issei could use his first name if he chooses to. In fact, in canon, Issei never calls anyone by their first name. This may differ in the sequel that isn't translated, but that takes place in la la la fantasy dreamland, so that technically doesn't count.

What this means for you is: he will call you by your last name. Even if he really likes you. Even if he really doesn't like you. Even if he thinks you are the embodiment of all the evils of the world, he will call you by your last name. He probably won't be very respectful otherwise (pronouns, honorifics), but you'll get the last name treatment.

Possible exceptions: if you have only one name, he'll call you that. If you insist on being called your first name, he'll eventually relent... or, more likely, not address you by name for a while, then go back to your last name when you're not paying attention. And I had him decide of his own free will to start calling someone by their first name... of course, it was his best friend of two years who'd been calling him by his first name forever, and it had just been established that Issei was willing to die for him. So, yeah, if he comes close to dying for you, he might consider you close enough to address by your first name.

You mentioned honorifics, but I haven't seen Issei use them?
That one's my fault. I, personally, don't use honorifics when writing Japanese characters unless they're things like -nii or -sensei. The thing is, we don't see Issei around characters he uses honorifics around (best friend, no honorific; mortal enemy, no honorific) except one time, when he's only just met her and calls her -san. So, if you want, you can assume he's using appropriate honorifics with you.

My character's a god/psychic/telepath/l33t haxor, so I'm going to look in his brain to find out what his secret is! Magic powers? Different species? Alien? Saved the world? Something?
Nope, nothing.

...Seriously?
Seriously. Issei has absolutely no special powers, no martial training, no feats of heroism in his background, no magic, no alien technology, nothing. He's just a guy.

So, uh, didn't I hear something about spiritual sensitivity a while back?
Well, he's a guy who's a monk, and that sensitivity's frankly hit-or-miss. He says a monk is good enough at sensing the aura of someone to make an accurate first impression, and he's usually right about someone... with one big mistake. (Tohsaka is a witch/mage and lying to the school, but she's also a good person; Saber is a good and trustworthy person, but she happens to be lying to him at the moment; Caster does dearly love Kuzuki-nii and can be a good housewife, but she doesn't mind getting Issei and other people killed.)

So basically, he's decent at forming first impressions, which isn't really a magic power, and if it was, it doesn't work over the internet anyway.

So my character's still a god/psychic/whatever. What can they know about him?
Oh, anything! There's just not much to him that he wouldn't ordinarily tell you if you asked. But seriously, if you need to know something, just send me a message saying 'hey, what's Issei's favorite flavor of ice cream, my character needs to know' and I'll tell you it's vanilla. Or whatever it is you're asking about.

What's with him and girls?
He is - well, was - equal parts scared of and disliking girls. It's not the standard misogynist 'stay in the kitchen' kind of thing; rather, he finds girls to be formidable opponents who are too powerful to be fully trusted.

Of course, online when he can better think out his responses instead of snapping at people (what he usually does to girls offline), he has no excuse for not being polite. And that led to him becoming friends with a bunch of girls, which led him to reconsidering his views on girls.

So basically, nowadays, if you're a girl, Issei assumes that you can be dangerous, but he's not much more likely to assume that you're out to harm him than he would be if you were a guy.

Isn't that blushing of his a little exaggerated from canon?
No.

To go into more detail: Issei blushes. A lot. He has fourteen different sprites, not including that one time he got possessed. Six of those, or nearly half, are blushing sprites. He blushes all the time, even at little things like worrying over someone's safety or at being thanked (by his crush, but still). I am probably downplaying his blushing tendencies, seriously.

Huh. He's pretty gay, isn't he?
Well, in canon he does think Caster and Saber are beautiful, and can be argued to have a crush on at least the former, but both times they're noted as the rare exception. So... technically he's bi? He's definitely much more interested in men, however.

What happened in his canon that I should know about?
Not much. Issei's only been told about most of it, since lol, minor character who's not in on The Secret.

Important Canon Event #1: His best friend, Emiya Shirou, suddenly ordered him to strip one day at lunch. Issei blushed like he'd never done before and didn't immediately comply, so Shirou stripped him forcibly. (He was looking for a magical symbol on Issei, but of course he couldn't tell Issei that.) This isn't really all that important, but it's good 'make Issei blush' fodder if you need something to bring up.

Important Canon Event #2: Kuzuki Souichirou, who Issei considered to be an older brother to him, was killed. (He kinda deserved it, what with accepting Caster sucking energy from the people of the town, but Issei doesn't know about that.) Issei only found out later (i.e. through here) that he was killed rather than just deciding to leave suddenly, and took it hard.

It's been a year since you apped him, shouldn't he be out of high school, and officially a monk with a shaved head and everything?
Yeah, uh, about that... Him being in high school gives me more options during viruses if he complains about missing school and everything, it gives him more people to be embarrassed around in day-to-day life, and it gives him stuff to do.

As for the hair, well, all of my icons have him with a not-shaved head, and I don't really have any of him the other way. So for right now, he's going to keep getting older on his birthdays, and at one point I'll probably decide that he's graduated, but we'll keep putting off his official becoming-a-monk. Okay?

From dormition, paraphrased: You know he doesn't have to shave his head, right?
Yes, but in canon it's said that he wants to. Thanks for telling me, though!

From clockmaster, paraphrased: What's with that Archer and Shirou thing? I'm confused.
So are we. Um, all of this is going to be spoilerish for Fate/stay night.

When I say Emiya Shirou, I mean: Issei's best friend, and the protagonist of Fate/stay night. Also the narrator.
When I say Archer, I mean: An alternate timeline version of Shirou. Shirou grew up, had a royally sucky life, made a deal with the world, and got a royally sucky afterlife. He gets summoned into the timeline of Fate/stay night during the Grail War, and butts heads with the Shirou already there.
And if I ever say proto-Archer, I mean: The version of Shirou who became Archer, before he was summoned as the Servant class Archer, and thus was still called Emiya Shirou.

If anyone has any more questions, I can go ahead and add them to the list~ And should I pin this?

ewwgirls @ 2009-08-16T23:54:00

2009-08-17T03:57:20Z

I... kissed Haruto.

And he kissed back.

...And it was really, really nice.

Does everyone feel this giddy afterward?

((Reference thread, made canon by agreement.))

[Forward-dated to tomorrow morning because I'm impatient. Flash of what's to come virus.]

2009-08-14T01:17:58Z

[The video shows a handsome young man, probably in his early twenties, kneeling on the ground watering some flowers. He's wearing glasses, and black robes that most Japanese characters will recognize as the ones that Buddhist monks of the region wear. He also has a shaved head, although some blue hair is beginning to grow back.

It continues to show him gardening for a while (in case you ever wanted to see him kneeling in the dirt) before cutting out. There's apparently not much point to this, other than showing that a) Issei grows up well and b) he's really going to shave his head.]

[RL - Third date with Haruto.]

2009-08-08T18:26:03Z

Issei paced around near the bottom of the steps to the temple.

The first two times had gone well, so this time would do well, wouldn't it? Well, it could be said that the second time hadn't gone so well with the kissing-on-the-cheek and freezing-up, and then after that there'd been that large strain in their relationship courtesy of his tasks-

Still! No reason to panic! If he had confidence in himself, he could make sure Haruto enjoyed himself, and that was all that really mattered.

...was it strange that they'd been dating for over two months and this was only their third date?

[RL - Tea with Vanessa after lunch.]

2009-07-23T17:51:14Z

Hopefully this would go better than Vanessa's last visit.

Issei sat on the top step of the ones leading up to the temple. Let's see, he'd confirmed that Vanessa would be dressed appropriately, he'd warned the other monks that a woman would be having tea with him, and he'd steeled himself for being teased nigh-constantly during the visit. Unless he was forgetting something, he was ready to receive his guest.

ewwgirls @ 2009-07-22T12:22:00

2009-07-22T16:27:48Z

[Locked to Eris]
I'm finished. Please fulfill your end of the bargain now.
[/Locked]

[Accidental Video Post]
[Issei is shown curled up into a ball on his bed, rocking back and forth. He's talking to himself, seeming as though he's desperately trying to convince himself of his own words - his voice is frantic bordering on hysterical.]

I-I never abandoned them, I tried to save them! I wanted to keep Kuzuki-nii safe and I couldn't, I couldn't protect Caster or anyone, but it's not my fault that they're dead. A-and when Shirou needed protection, it's not as if I ran away, I just left because he told me to. I wouldn't have been able to help him even if I'd stayed. I'm so, so sorry...

I'm not worthless, I can do this much. It isn't as if this is more harm than good, of course not. And it can't be because I'm worthless why they don't want me, don't want to involve me in their lives, don't want to even tell me what's going on, it can't be that. I trust them when they say they have reasons. I don't mess up everything I'm a part of, I'm not more harm than good, I wouldn't be better off just leaving everyone else alone. That isn't true!

I'm not a coward; when she's finished upholding the deal I'll go on and tell everyone what I did and why, like I said I would. B-because I'm not a bad person, and I don't care what they think of me afterward, I did the right thing. Even if the person I did it for hates me for it, I won't mind. Of course not. This was the right thing, it has to be. E-even though everyone decries me for it, surely once I explain they'll understand a little more.

A-and it's fine if I'm stupid and reckless and not worth anything and can't save anyone from being killed or worse and they all condemn me for this. It's fine because I knew that already! It doesn't matter who I hear say it. B-because we're friends and it's fine for them to know my flaws. I don't care.

It's all right if I'm no one, but I still, I still have to be able to protect the people close to me. That's all. If I can do that, everything else is unimportant. And I can do that, at least sometimes. Once. If I can just help him once, that's all I ask.

((Issei doesn't do well with trauma. Replies to comments will be a little while later, after he's calmed down some and put up a brave front. The actual explanation post will be a couple hours after that.))

[Locked away from people who want to hurt him. If you don't know, just ask.]

2009-07-22T04:11:15Z

This is the last one.

I am going to the Dreaming, I'm going now, and when I get back this will be over with.

And I assure you that I will not fail.

[Locked away from people involved in the labors.]

2009-07-19T15:16:35Z

Two labors left. I wanted to wait until the wedding to go after ShinRa's panther, since I'm sure he'll be attending, but I can't wait. If I just press myself a little harder, I can get this finished.

[Locked away from people involved in the labors.]

2009-07-18T00:13:35Z

Allen was successfully defeated. Three labors left - Prince Larsa's two swords, Rufus ShinRa's panther, and the Corinthian's cat.

...I don't know if I'm skilled enough to take on any of those locations. But I can't wait. If I can just finish those last three, it'll all be over. Everyone could get their things back, I could rest...

I'll have to be able to do it at my current level of skill, then. It would take a long time to go looking around for a teacher, and there are still people out there who want my head. It's best to finish quickly.

((Translation: Issei's really, really worried about screwing up now.))

[Locked to Allen, Aoko, and Tatsumi.]

2009-07-13T20:37:35Z

Allen Walker, I would like to challenge you to a game of poker. What time would be acceptable for you?

((Chuck Bass' scarf = stolen. Also, Styx, a bunch of people have offered to help Issei cheat. Aoko wants to come along and unintentionally distract Allen (her hairstyle looks like Lenalee's now), and Tatsumi wants to use his shadows to do... something. I forget.))

ewwgirls @ 2009-07-11T00:44:00

2009-07-11T04:51:13Z

So it's really been a year since I first joined this website. I should probably change this username, since I never liked it in the first place, but... I suppose it's fairly iconic of me at this point.

[Locked away from anyone the labors are directed at. And the Trinitys, they count too.]
Five labors left, and I'm two-thirds done. That's definitely progress.

I wonder... Sensei, do you think I'm ready to challenge this 'Allen' person to poker? I'd be more confident if I could, I don't know, consistently beat you while you were cheating or something, but I can't put this off forever.

If not, I guess it's either that celebrity's scarf or the prince's swords. Then the panther during the wedding, and the cat last.

I want to finish this quickly so that people stop trying to kill me, but if I rush too much I'll get myself killed anyway. It's difficult to strike the right balance.
[/Locked]

[Post-maid cafe.]

2009-07-07T17:07:48Z

For the record: I am not currently employed at a maid cafe. Any belief I had that I was employed at one came from the virus. I have no desire whatsoever to work there.

I also violently despise Koizumi Akako, who brainwashed me again. And I am exceedingly grateful for the Valentine's Day virus.

[Locked away from anyone the labors are directed at.]
Nine labors completed, six left. More than half, at last.

Hopefully the replacement motorcycle will somewhat abate Rider's wrath, but I don't want to take chances. And since I'm not very good at this whole 'stealing' thing, honestly... I guess it's the 'look for Kite in the digital world' task next. Does anyone know who that is?
[/Locked]

((Rider's motorcycle has been stolen, and Akako has been kissed.

Remaining tasks, for the curious!

1. Go into the digital world and find Kite.
2. Steal Dark Nation from Rufus. (Issei's planning to do this during the wedding, when he hopefully won't be home.)
3. Sneak into his palace and steal Joyeurse and Swordbreaker from Larsa.
4. Defeat Allen in poker.
5. Steal Chuck Bass’ scarf.
6. Steal Cori’s cat and survive the hellhole he lives in.))